Watching my girls grow up and enjoying the development of their individual personalities is like watching a documentary on the extreme differences of siblings. So much of what I see in one is almost completely not found in the other. They are opposites in so many ways.
Kinsey is my extrovert, full of drama and flair and energy, eager to learn and figure things out on her own, always ready to make her points known.
Kalei is my introvert, in a good way, and she is full of sweet quiet moments, deep thoughts, cautious explorations, and yet when she is ready for something she can be bold, and she can still make her point known with just a little less drama. When she wants something she won't break down the door like Kinsey, but she will persistently knock and then smile sweetly when you open for her.
Oh the wonders of being a parent and trying to figure out where these traits come from. What is the heart behind them. A lot of the time it is like watching my strengths and flaws in technicolor and knowing that I somehow need to shape these budding roses before they end up like me...hahaha. Well how did I get to where I am? What shaped me; I confess I'm clueless. I guess that is where Holy Spirit comes in with some of His well timed parenting wisdom.
I'm also thankful that I spent a lot of time in a home with a family who had two boys who were pretty different from one another, and I got to see that they were turning out just fine. They had different strengths and weakness but their parents were wise enough to see their differences and approach each of them as the individuals that they were. I needed that kind of example, because when I treat my girls differently from one another I somehow feel like I am not being fair. The guilt of worrying that I have a double standard of sorts.
Yet I think it is more fair (especially in the long run) to appeal to their personal strengths in a personal way, rather than set a mold of parenting to fit them both. And now I have number three on the way.....
What new mixture of Ken and I could this little one hold? How much different could this one be? I confess one of my greatest concern and yet also a secret hope is that this one will have a penis, and that would be a big enough and overwhelming change for me. I think that would present enough of a new challenge for my parenting tool belt that other personality trends will go unnoticed for a while. :-) At the moment I feel completely unprepared to parent a boy. Thankfully all my friends with boys tell me it will be a piece of cake, perhaps some cake with a little less drama. I think that could be a nice change.
If the baby is another girl though, I feel prepared for that too. Somehow the idea of another girl is like the thought of being given back my security blanket. I know girls, as much because I am one and have two.
All that to say, we hopefully find out gender on February 11th! Look for the post I'm sure to write after that big day. We'll see if Jesus has given me more of what I know and am comfortable with, or if He is ready to shake up my comfort zone. I'm on pins and needles!
Some people wait until the baby is born to find out gender....I am not one of them.