Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Welcome to my new blog!

Hello my beloved friends and family.

I have had a deep desire to blog again, and yet I just hate all those sites like MySpace and FaceBook. I wanted a place where I could pour out my daily thoughts on life, where my loved ones could read it and know how I am, how I really am, and not just what I have time to share in our brief phone calls and reunions. So I ran across this site from a friend of mine who uses it, and she is a mother of two, so I figure if she finds time to blog, then I can do it too.

She is my inspiration for lots of things. I see her do it with two kids and I say to myself, I can do it too then, with only one kid! For those of you who have visited us here in Kansas City in the past year or so, it is our very dear neighbor, Lydia Harrigan. She lives right across the driveway from us and she, on an average week, gets at least 4 visits from me and Kinsey, if not more.

I keep telling her she can shooo me away if she wants to, but she insists I don't bother her, so I take her at her word and take full advantage of the hours of free entertainment for Kinsey. Her two boys are so active, usually Kinsey just sits and watches them and all their antics, while I sit and chat and strategize our next Arbonne exploits.

Yes, that's right, she is my dear friend as well as my Arbonne sponoring consultant. Again, if she can do it with two kids and make money, then I can do it too! And for those of you who haven't heard about Arbonne from me or someone else, well you just wait 'til I see you next, it is my newest pursuit, and I'm loving it!

So enough of the 'why' I'm blogging and how I came about with this spot, and on to the sharing of my life. Nothing earth-shattering has happened, yet I think what is happening is very grand indeed for me. I have a 9 month old and I feel like I have been in a slump for about 9 months. Yet this past weekend, September 27th to be exact, I had a revelation. I went to a teaching at IHOP on 'healing and deliverance' taught by Steven Beauchamp, and it was amazing for me.

I won't go into all of it right here because it would take more time than I have, but I felt like the Holy Spirit pierced my heart with the truth of my situtation. He (Steven Beauchamp) talked about reasons why Christians feel 'oppression' from the enemy, but that most times they are not 'oppressed' at all, but lack spiritual discipline and are lazy in their pursuit of God. Therefore, they do not have the revelation or encounters with Jesus that they so desire, or see others enjoying.

Well, I haven't spent hardly any time with the Lord since a little while before Kinsey was born, and it has really been bothering me for a while, and so I have tried to schedule in specific time with the Lord, but making the time seems so hard, and so I never end up sticking to my schedule. In fact, I probably only follow my well planned out schedule about 45% of the time.

So in that teaching on Saturday I felt like the Lord said to do my schedule, and do it to the fullest for two weeks, and if it really is too hard to keep, then modify it based on what I've learned from the experience. Up until now I have looked at my schedule as a set of goals I could never keep, and so never really tried, and was rather half-hazard in the way I did plan out my days.

Having said all that, on to the action plan! So, I am now keeping to my schedule as much as possible with a 9 month old, and I'm not overwhelm so far. It is actually doable and I had a great day yesterday! Amazing in fact. I exercised which has been on my schedule for months, and I worked on Arbonne, and cleaned and balanced my checkbook, and felt so great afterwards. I also started taking my multi-vitamins again, and I think that has aready helped too. I have more energy than I have had in, like, probably over a year!

Yesterday I also had a little bit of time with the Lord and it was like gold to me. It was just a few little snippets of time, but it was so sweet and wonderful, and it has given me even more resolve to keep to my schedule, because if I keep to it, I can spend more sweet moments with Him daily.

My struggle to find even a few seconds with the Lord most days has been a silent struggle that I have kept hidden from most people, out of shame. Now the Lord has spoken to me and reminded me that shame is never from Him, and He has taken it away now. Even if I stumble in my new goals to spend more time with Him, He is just so pleased that my heart wants to spend more time with Him, and He promises to be my strength when I am weak.

Well, what an awesome God we serve! That is all for today. Welcome to my blog.