I am not under any allusions that the new year holds some magical ability to help strengthen peoples resolve to fulfill commitments and new goals that they set out for themselves to accomplish. Still, there is something so fresh and exciting about a new year, that it still makes me want to try new and exciting things.
So here I am. About to start a 40 day fast.
"Uh, so when was the last time you fasted Katrina?"
Well, if we don't count the forced fast from eggs and beans, part of my gallbladder episode that lasted over a year, then it would be about 3 years since I can remember trying to fast anything in a serious sort of way.
Yet my desire for more of the Lord is there, and physically there is nothing that says I can't (nursing/pregnancy/etc).
So here I go, plunging into purposeful poverty. I am choosing voluntary weakness as a means to seek more of the Lord. It is the way of the Kingdom of God.
Misty Edwards even sings a song about such things, the words go something like this:
The way of God is the wilderness, it's always been the wilderness,
The way of God is weakness, it is voluntary weakness.
I choose voluntary weakness in this season, because I want the best that God has for me in this next season.
My theology for why I fast is a little fuzzy. I don't have great principles to expound on here, I just know from history and my own past that fasting works to draw my heart nearer to the Lord's heart. For that, it is worth it.
Am I very intimidated by this fast?
Will I fail and slip up?
Maybe, but perfection is not the point.
Even if I do it completely perfect, that may not be any better than a flawed attempt. In fact, knowing how the Lord works, I may not get as close to the Lord if I do it 100% perfect, because then at the end of it I might say in my heart "look Lord, I did it" and He will be like, "Great, you think you earn something now."
Where as, if I do slip up a few times, or wallow in some pathetic moments along the way, then it just might show that I truly am weak and broken and I need the Lord's strength. Then, whatever is gained from the fast will be grace and a gift to me, and I will know it in my heart.
So then, should I set out to fail, so that grace may abound?
Certainly not - says Paul (Romans 6:1-2).
I will do my best to stick to what I am committing to do, while at the same time, understanding the grace and love of the Lord.
With that said, here is the fast I am preparing to start tomorrow.
I will be fasting social media (which for me just means facebook), sweets and treats, and movies.
I will be blogging every day to chronicle the journey.
I will fast one meal a day the final 7 days of the fast.
I will be happy sounding some days and pathetic the next, so be prepared if you plan to read about me during the next 40 days.
I hope you enjoy my honesty during this journey, and that it inspires you to try it some time.
Stay tuned for more.