What woman wouldn't want to have dreams about shopping? Well I have them every so often, and most times I wake up totally frustrated. Either everything I see in the stores is totally beautiful and out of my price range or I can't find any of the greatest deals in my size. Seriously, I have these dreams and I look at the prices and sizes and such.
So I woke up from one this morning that was a bit different from the normal shopping dream. To spare you the details for time sake (it was long and details), it was in a very glamorous store with a main level and a second level. When I finally figured out how to reach the second level, me and a group of IHOP women who had made up were all walked through a sort of program that was suppose to show us how to shop, match items to our colors and so forth. In the midst of the program though there was a lot of Eastern Religion stuff and it sort of weirded me out, even though I still enjoyed most of the process.
At the end they finally let us loose to shop, and I started telling the other women to be careful because they were trying to subtly indoctrinate us thru that program. The other women weren't buying my ideas of caution.
So I said something like, "no really, there is totally an Eastern religion under current that is going to desensitize you and the next thing you know you'll be bowing to some foreign idol."
They still didn't believe me, and I guess I didn't really care enough to press the issue, because I kept shopping and that is when I couldn't find anything in my size, and everything I picked up was super expensive.
Then, in the dream, I had the thought, "well I can still afford to buy a few things because we just got our tax refund."
At some point near there I woke up and I tell you, I was in such a bad mood after that. The dream left me with an icky feeling in my heart and by the time I got to our Sunday service, I felt like a gloomy cloud was settled over me.
In worship I asked the Lord to break in and take me out of the funk, and that is when I heard Him say to me softly, "repent for your dream".
Immediately my mind went to that last recorded thought about having enough money to splurge because we had our tax refund. As soon as I repented for such a careless thought and heart position I felt the release and the icky feeling start to dissipate.
That is not the end though!
I thought on and off about the dream all day long and when I finally took some time to tell my mom about it, it was as though the Lord make the whole point of the dream clear to me. Then I had to repent again.
The whole thing was a picture of my own idolatry, or at least my disposition toward it. The very thing I had warned those other woman about, the subtle desensitizing program that would eventually make them ready to embrace a foreign idol. My tax refund money had become that in my mind; a foreign idol.
We don't live on much money, but the Lord has provided gloriously for us over the past four years and I do trust Him for my daily bread, but with this years tax refund we suddenly have a bit more than we usually do. So subtly a little thought had taken root in my mind and was headed on to my heart without me even knowing it.
I had been finding security in that little bit of money in my bank account. I was feeling like I could do some extra little indulgence type things around the house. I also was feeling a bit stingy, not wanting to spend to much because I feel better having a little tucked away.
So, Lord, I thank you for that dream. You have shown me the truth of my condition today in the form of that dream, and then accepted my repentance. It is because of Your goodness and not my own, that I am even aware now of this looming threat to our relationship. Jesus, would You always expose my sin to me as gently but as thoroughly as You did today. Amen.
Who would a thought a woman who loves the Lord so much could fall into such a silly trap. And maybe I wasn't completely in full blown idolatry yet, but I was headed that way and it was only the Lord's mercy to tell me before I had gone too far. It is just another picture for me of how my sinful nature still tries to rear its ugliness, and how the Lord's love for me is my greatest security.
Now all I need is some Godly wisdom on what to do with this money. I say have Your way Jesus!
All my sweet friends who are about to get their refunds, be warned, and encouraged. :-)
Disclaimer about the nature of dreams: They are personal and if you have a dream about shopping, don't assume right away that it is a dream to expose idolatry in your heart. Plenty of my shopping dreams are just that, shopping dreams, and so if you have a dream, any dream, not just about shopping. I encourage you to talk to the Lord about it, see what He tells you about it. If there is a point, He will help you to see it in His timing.
PS. If you've read this post all the way to here, then you probably like reading my blog, I hope. So I will tell you about another post I am preparing. My first ever tutorial about making yarn dolls. I made them when I was a young girl and I think they are about due to re-enter my world. So keep an eye out.