No, I'm afraid this post is not going to be very spiritual in nature, it is about irrational food cravings. On the front end of this post though, I will assure you I am not pregnant.
These are a bit different from pregnancy cravings in that, if I were pregnant, history tells me sweets would be the last thing on the list of cravings for the first trimester. Carbs, anything potato, and grease are what my body craves in pregnancy, and sugar is what my body craves, well....as I approach another female "reality" each month.
Today it was completely out of control! I was in line at SunFresh Grocery with two loaves of garlic bread for a friend, and as I had to wait in line I looked at the candy bars on display. It was a dumb thing to do, even if I wasn't having a voracious appetite for sweet things, but chocolate is my special weakness right now.
I even attempt to tell myself to save the money, use it on something else more necessary, but at the thought of not buying a candy bar I felt as though I might burst into tears. Another irrational hormonal side effect of the imminent arrive of my female "reality".
So I told myself, "yes you may have one, but just one," so what did I choose, a package of Reese's peanut butter cups, because I rationalized that I get two for the price of one. Before I reached my car in the front row I had the first peanut butter cup partially devoured and I felt as though I might cry again. It was really just that good. All the cares of my day melted away as the chocolate melted in my mouth, and I drove home with a silly grin on my face, sated.
The funny thing about cravings is that they don't always go away that easy. I did good for the rest of the night, I even ate all my dinner, and then the house was quiet and the kids were in bed, and the husband was gone and I thought to myself, I just gotta have something sweet....again.
To my credit I don't keep sweets on hand, just baking supplies and even that stockpile is running a little low at the moment. So what was I to do. I found my carrot cake recipe, and decided to bake. Then I remembered that Ken is about to go on a fast, and I felt guilt at the thought of baking something delectable that might cause him to stumble.
It was quite the quandary, and then I had another thought. We have lots of jelly in the fridge....so I got a spoon, promising myself to just have one bite from the jar. One bite turned into three and then a spoon full of peanut butter and honey to top it off. Who needs bread.
Ah, sweet sweetness, the craving has yet again been satisfied, but hopefully I will do better tomorrow on the self control portion of my life.