The saddest thing I am getting rid of is my little sewing desk. It is this cute little beat up desk that I hide all my creative crafty treasures in. It has character, it has history with me, it currently serves as my bedside table, quilting table, and clothing catch all. It will be missed. Yet it is not perfect, only a folding chair will fit under it, and the top is not sturdy enough so when I get my sewing machine really pounding it actually causes the whole machine to bounce. Time to say goodbye and wait for the Lord to provide a replacement in SC, if we have room for a sewing desk at all. I'm hopeful.
With all of our things mostly packed up and unusable and my last official day at Shiloh being two days ago, I have a growing anticipation for my stay in Peoria. When we leave next Monday it will not be for SC yet, but for me and the girls to visit Peoria and the Grandmas and family and friends.
I wish I could say I was more excited about all the visiting I need to do, but what I am mostly excited about is just getting to be in my parents home for three weeks. After all the chaos of packing and trying to manage my two increasingly stressed out toddlers, I look forward to the safe haven my parents house represents in my heart.
Don't get me wrong, I do look forward to seeing a lot of people, especially my grandpa Kenny, who has only been able to come to Kansas City once while we've lived here. Coffee with him is a must when I come to Peoria. It just that I love visiting my old home; my parent's home.
I spent 20+ years living in that house, I've only been away from it for 8 years, and so it still holds a safe and familiar feel to it. When I arrive I expect to relax (as much as you can with two toddlers and two jack russell terriers running around) and do some of my favorite things from my past.
- Staying up late playing scrabble with my mom
- Going for long walks up and down the woodsy alley way with my dad
- Sitting with my mom talking about the Lord as we drink coffee by the pond in the back yard early in the morning (I built that pond myself when I was a teen and they still maintain it and the fish in it)
- Sitting at the table talking with my parents as my dad makes eggs and toast on the weekends
- Helping weed the gardens I helped plant around the house
- Shooting guns and hiking in the woods with my dad
- Seeing old neighbors and playmates who still live in my old neighborhood
- Walking next to the river and watching the waves and the gulls
- Sleeping in my old room and hearing all the old sounds of my old house.
- Taking a shower with almost no water pressure (oh wait, not looking forward to that one with my long hair)
- Just being with my mom and dad for three weeks uninterrupted.
I"m an only child, so they were my whole world for a long, long time. It will be good to be back, it will be a nice break in the midst of this big transition in our lives, a time to breath and sigh and enjoy.
My girls love their mema and papa, but this visit is as much for me as it is for them. Just talking about it makes me wish it was tomorrow that we were leaving.
Strangely the Lord has been detaching my heart from Shiloh, the mission bases (all except the prayer room, I'm going to miss the prayer room more than I can even guess at this point), our rental house. It is a good thing, but it makes me also feel like I am somehow in limbo because my heart is not truly knit with Morning Star yet or any of the people down there.
So to be 'home' to Peoria will fill a need and fill up my heart a bit before I go far from it. Three weeks is going to be such a blessing, if me and my mom don't kill each other before its over, hahaha. I mean to say that we are both creatures of routine and it might drive us a bit nutty not to have much of a routine for three weeks, but I shall try to lay down some of my control issues and just enjoy it, really mom, I'm gonna try. :-)
|My mom holding Kalei in her kitchen.|