So I don't know if these are typical thoughts for a woman who is 9 months pregnant, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are not. Oh no, I'm sure the Lord does not bring books like 'Hearts of Fire' to very many pregnant women to read in their final trimester.
I found the book at a garage sale and knew I was suppose to read it. It's by Voice of the Martyrs, but it is about 8 women around the world who have faced persecution and heartache because of their love and devotion the Jesus.
On top of that, I have been having a lot of contractions. Not painful yet, but very real and very uncomfortable, and I live in a church community that puts a lot of focus on the end times and the events that will lead up to the end of the age.
Well in Matthew 24:7-8, the Bible talks about what the birth pains will look like to some extent, 'there will be famines and earthquakes', but then it goes on to say in Matthew 24:9-10, 'Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of Me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other.'
So here I am, nine months pregnant, feeling just the beginnings of birth pains, or practice birth pains, and reading a book on persecution of Christians. And some of the women in the book were betrayed or turned in by their own fellowships because the people themselves were to afraid to be persecuted, so they testified against their own.
It is a hard read most days, but the Lord has been using it I think to remove from me an immaturity and romantic view of what the end times will look like for me. In my early understanding of the end, I actually felt excited to think that I could be a martyr for Christ, because they get all the choice spots in Heaven. Yet now, having had the Lord revealing the reality to me, I am sobered and it is causing me to count the cost.
I have babies, I have a husband, and those things could be taken from me, so what would be my hearts response to the Lord if the unthinkable happened? It is a hard question, but I am glad to say that my heart is still saying 'yes' to the Lord.
Just as I would not choose to end the birth pains that I am having now, because they are a necessary step in bringing forth this beautiful baby within me, nor would I choose to end the birth pains that will lead up to the return of Christ. No matter what happens, Christ is worth it all, and although the 'global' birth pains may be harder to endure than anything I have ever experienced in my life, I would not choose to skip it, for it is necessary to bring back my Beloved Bridegroom.
So those are my thoughts of late, and I thought I would share the journey of reality that the Lord has been taking me on. When the end comes, it will be hard for Christians, especially Christian mothers, but it will be so worth it!