Saturday, September 10, 2011

Finding Tranquility

I gotta say, lately I've been experiencing a lot of weird symptoms.  Physical symptoms that are not terribly alarming so much as a little strange and disconcerting. Lots of headaches, back aches, shoulders and neck stiffness, fatigue, but then insomnia, and lack of appetite.
When I started listing the symptoms off in my head though, I remembered what condition they all pointed to....anxiety.
Then I felt confused.
What am I anxious about? Sure, we have plenty of trials going on in our life, but I have Jesus, so none of that should be getting the better of me. I certainly didn't feel like I was focusing on any of those things. In fact, I was doing my best to completely distract myself.
Whenever I would feel myself worrying, I would go and clean something, or I would take a nap, or I would watch a movie, or make cookies. I would pacify my flesh for the moment, and then move on. Or so I thought. My body was telling me different, and my expanding waistline was telling me that sugar was not the answer.
Then I went to small group, the same night I was processing through all of these thoughts.
What did the small group leader talk about - fears and worries. He asked if anyone would like special prayers for overcoming fear. I was tired of always being one of the ones who raises their hand every week. I was tired of being the terribly broken one in the group, and I was 'afraid' that they would think I just wanted the attention raising my hand brought me, so I didn't raise my hand. I just sat there and talked to the Lord.
Pretty much I said to Him, "okay, I'm listening, what do you want me to do?"
I felt like He said, 'do the things you did at first."
Which to me was like a 'duh' moment.
What have I been neglecting to do all this time (probably for the past month). Read the Word. Watch the Prayer Room. Pray in Tongues (mostly while I"m driving).
Fear is a tactic of the enemy to cripple us, and he was doing a darn good job these past few weeks, but only because I hadn't been eating the right breakfast (wheaties = the Word).
Yes, my Bible is pink. So that Ken will never
run off with it....hahaha.
So what did I do, first I repented for not doing what I know to do and not asking Holy Spirit sooner what to do, and then I prayed for the Lord to strengthen me and give me another go at it.
The next day I jumped back into my Bible reading plan, had some sweet fellowship with the Lord, and then I sat down and worked on my quilt. You know what I discovered. I felt more content sitting on my couch working on my quilt than I had in weeks.
There was a quiet sense of peace that was almost tangible. I had no urge to jump up and clean something, I had no tension in my body, and I felt about ten times better.
How can the Word be so powerful in just a few short chapters?!? It made me hungry for more of that peace and Presence.
So, feeling tired, worn out, anxious? Find your Bible and give it a go! It's better than chocolate, but chocolate is nice too, sometimes, in moderation. :-)
Still, "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" - John 16:33
I feel that pretty much sums up what I've been experiencing!

1 comment:

Carolyn Victoria said...

beautiful. i've been going through the same sort of thing lately, so much anxiety and i don't know why. it seems i've forgotten the peace that comes with spending time with God. it really is amazing what a difference it makes!