Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Day 21- Crafting Bliss

So I didn't think I would have much to say, but alas, today is day two of my break from working on a story. I am thrilled to announce that today I have done more watercolor painting and crochet.

Quilting might be what I have for dessert tonight, just can't decide between that or more crochet.

See, the crochet afghan I'm working on is one I plan to sell. Its nice, with an intricate design, and so I plan to try to sell it on Etsy, along with some of my watercolor paintings as I get better at them.

I can see myself being one of those craft junkies, who sells their own stuff to further supply their crafting habits. 

I will sell my afghan so I have more money for beading supplies, yarn, and watercolor paper.

I will sell the watercolors to buy more yarn, beads, and quilt batting. 

I will sell my quilt, if I don't decide I love it, so that I can buy more quilt fabrics to finish additional quilts, while splurging on more thread, beads, and felt to embroider.

Oh yeah, you're seeing the cycle, as am I. What a glorious cycle, indeed. 

In the midst of this, I can see any extra money going toward random, super fun date nights with my husband! Creativity fueling creativity and matrimonial bliss! What could be better!

That's all I got to say. Just brainstorming some wonderful ideas here and felt inclined to share them.

When my Etsy story is up and running, you can count on me sharing links here on my blog. Wanna support a missionary family? 

Buy my Etsy products......once I finish them. :-)

Monday, January 20, 2014

Uh....Day 20

Yes, my fast has continued in my absence from writing. I have been doing very well with it in fact, which tells me the Lord has been highly involved, because I am not naturally good at fasting.

So where have I been?

Writing a book, oddly enough.

Day two of the fast, the Lord gave me a dream and I started writing it down and it turned into a story which has turned into a 170 page book.

In two weeks I have written it and rewritten it 3 times. I'm insane. I was not a good mom during that time. I think Ken would agree that I was not a good wife during those two weeks. Not mean, just neglectful.

The story burned inside of me and even when I wasn't working on it, I would be talking to the Lord about it in my head. Every sermon, every worship song, every conversation brought new waves of ideas and things to include in my story. As the Lord would pour out the story through me though, I would often just stop and take a worship break. Songs just welling up inside of me.

It is crazy to try and describe. Trust me though, it is so good and fun, and I'm learning how to be a good mom and wife in the midst of all my creative urges. Most days.

Today however, I am taking a break from my book, to relax and refocus on other things. Oddly enough all I've done on my first day off from the book is make jewelry, paint with watercolors, do some homeschool and manage to make a dinner that was only 20 minutes late.

Alas, creativity has been flowing out of me, but not here on my blog. Sorry about saying something so stupid as ..... I'm gonna blog every day of my 40 day fast. Uh, yeah right Katrina, your follow thru stinks!

Yes, yes it does. Oh well. Love me or hate me for it.  Now you know where I've been.

Maybe I will be back in 20 more days.....


Friday, January 3, 2014

Day 3

It has occurred to me that when I write about my days, that I will always be writing about the day before, because how can I write about the current day before it has happened. As such, from now on, my daily posts will be about my previous day.

So yesterday in my world I was worshipping a lot and working on craft projects. As my hands were busy, my heart was singing this song (one of many). It speaks deep to me and makes me so in love with the Lord for His kindness and love.


Amber Brooks - Vagabonds

Once there was a King who made a seat for many men at a wedding
When the prideful wouldn't come
He gathered to Himself the undeserving and unworthy.

How deep the love would have to be
To reconcile the debts of the guilty
These will be the vagabonds who trace the lines
Of right and wrong completely, intensely.

There came the one who sold her love away to many men
Beneath a red marquee
The jackal in dark corners hid to raid the unlocked
Doors of the sleeping, creeping
How deep the love would have to be
To Reconcile the debts of the guilty
These will be the vagabonds who trace the lines
Of right and wrong completely
These will be the ones who sing

Death has lost its hold on me! I'm forever yours.
Death has lost its hold on me
And a wellspring of life now runs through me.

There came the one who cursed the Son in unbelief
And spoke the death of god
The man who raised his fist against his wife and kids
To silence their pleading.....have mercy.

How deep the love would have to be
To reconcile the debts of the guilty
These will be the vagabonds who trace the lines
Of right and wrong completely
These will be the ones who sing

Death has lost its hold on me! I'm forever yours.
Death has lost its hold on me
And a wellspring of life now runs through me.



Beautiful words, eh? I will be one of these vagabonds, who has traced the lines of right and wrong and triumphed today - Death has lost its hold on me!

Amen!

Be encouraged today.

PS you can listen to the song on youtube here.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Day 2

I'm afraid that Day 2's post will be a recap of Day 1 events. This will be an educational post, a horticultural post and a warning all wrapped up in one.

Yesterday was beautiful here. Sixty six degrees and sunny with a warm breeze and no clouds anywhere. My girls were so excited, and if I'm honest, so was I, so we all decided to walk to the park and back.

On the way back I picked some Mistletoe and gave a piece to both Kinsey and Kalei and explained about people kissing under it. They thought that was fun, and then I showed the girls some cool white berries on a tree. It was very pretty in the late afternoon sun, and they begged me to pick some for them too.

The only branch hanging low enough only afforded us about 5 of the white berries, but the girls were satisfied with their little twigs with berries.

Now, at that point, I told them not to eat or try to taste them. I wasn't sure what kind of tree it was, but anything with that many berries in the middle of winter must not be edible because even the birds and squirrels hadn't eaten them. They agreed and we carried on.

When we got home, we were all tired. I served up dinner and after dinner everyone cut loose from the table and went to do prospective projects solo. The girls set about cleaning their room so they could watch a movie before bed. I worked on homeschool prep for the following week and Ken.....well, he was somewhere, as was Keith who was probably upstairs trying to undo the girls cleaning.

So the cleaning is almost done. I walk into the living room to straighten up a bit, and find one of the berries half chewed up. I immediately think, 'oh crap, I better figure out what those were'.

The movie comes on, the kids and dad are watching, while I furiously google white berries on a tree in Texas.  It doesn't take long and I find the name - Chinaberry is the common name, or White Cedar, but the latin is Melia azedarach. There is no doubt in my horticulture mind. I remember seeing this very tree in leaf and the leaves as well as the fruit and form match the Chinaberry pictures and descriptions.

Under toxicity it says 'highly toxic' and lists a whole gamut of possible symptoms and consequences. So I google another page about the plant, to cross reference, it says 'eating as few as 7 fruits could prove fatal', and so on. Every site said it was on the highly poisonous list.

I called poison control while Ken and the girls tried to find all the berries to see how many Keith might have eaten. We found one chewed. I knew of one other that should have been in the same vicinity as the chewed one, but it was missing. We sent Kinsey off to find her other three berries that she said she had in her room.

Poison control asks how long it had been. At this point it had been less than a hour since the berry had been found, and there are still several berries missing. She said take him to the emergency room.

We can't afford another unnecessary emergency room visit, so I call the ER and ask them what they will do in such a case. I said bluntly that if they are just going to observe him for a few hours, then we can't afford that, but the ER said they would only call poison control and ask them what they would recommend.

Ah, so I called poison control back and got a different woman. By then, we had found all the berries, I could tell her more surely that he had only chewed two berries (swallowing none) and that it had been over an hour at this point. Based on his age, weight, and current behavior (walking around happy and singing), she said to just keep an eye on him.

So, we did. We kept that poor boy up 2 more hours. He was fine, and I was fine. After a cup of ginger tea with chamomile my nerves and stomach were both more settled and so we all went to bed.

I tell you all of this because a) don't give your kids plants that you can't identify b) Chinaberries are very poisonous c) we averted an emergency room visit because I knew enough to call around and get all my information.

Be informed, and encouraged.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Day 1

As of yet, there is not much to report on the fast itself. I have not begun to feel the stretch, the pull, the lack of social media or sugar.

However, I am trying to limit my 'media' exposure in general, and yet I woke up this morning and without thinking spent over an hour reviewing kids learning game apps for the Kindle.

After an hour of that, I thought to myself, huh, I guess that sort of counts as media, and then I put the games away. Although I do love testing games designed for 4 & 5 year olds. I'm so darn good at 'em!

Then I thought about browsing the internet for ideas for our upcoming homeschool kick off next week, but then I realized that was more media.

I guess I may be more addicted to media than I thought. This fast is going to be good for me. I think I will find at the end of it that I have a lot more time than I thought I had.

The rest of today will be dedicated to crafts, laundry and rest.....but not necessarily in that order.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Preparing to Plunge

I am not under any allusions that the new year holds some magical ability to help strengthen peoples resolve to fulfill commitments and new goals that they set out for themselves to accomplish. Still, there is something so fresh and exciting about a new year, that it still makes me want to try new and exciting things.

So here I am. About to start a 40 day fast.

"Uh, so when was the last time you fasted Katrina?"

Well, if we don't count the forced fast from eggs and beans, part of my gallbladder episode that lasted over a year, then it would be about 3 years since I can remember trying to fast anything in a serious sort of way.

Yet my desire for more of the Lord is there, and physically there is nothing that says I can't (nursing/pregnancy/etc).

So here I go, plunging into purposeful poverty. I am choosing voluntary weakness as a means to seek more of the Lord. It is the way of the Kingdom of God.

Misty Edwards even sings a song about such things, the words go something like this:

The way of God is the wilderness, it's always been the wilderness,
The way of God is weakness, it is voluntary weakness.

I choose voluntary weakness in this season, because I want the best that God has for me in this next season.

My theology for why I fast is a little fuzzy. I don't have great principles to expound on here, I just know from history and my own past that fasting works to draw my heart nearer to the Lord's heart. For that, it is worth it.

Am I very intimidated by this fast?

Absolutely.

Will I fail and slip up?

Maybe, but perfection is not the point.

Even if I do it completely perfect, that may not be any better than a flawed attempt. In fact, knowing how the Lord works, I may not get as close to the Lord if I do it 100% perfect, because then at the end of it I might say in my heart "look Lord, I did it" and He will be like, "Great, you think you earn something now."

Where as, if I do slip up a few times, or wallow in some pathetic moments along the way, then it just might show that I truly am weak and broken and I need the Lord's strength. Then, whatever is gained from the fast will be grace and a gift to me, and I will know it in my heart.

So then, should I set out to fail, so that grace may abound?

Certainly not - says Paul (Romans 6:1-2).

I will do my best to stick to what I am committing to do, while at the same time, understanding the grace and love of the Lord.


With that said, here is the fast I am preparing to start tomorrow.

I will be fasting social media (which for me just means facebook), sweets and treats, and movies.

I will be blogging every day to chronicle the journey.

I will fast one meal a day the final 7 days of the fast.

I will be happy sounding some days and pathetic the next, so be prepared if you plan to read about me during the next 40 days.


I hope you enjoy my honesty during this journey, and that it inspires you to try it some time.


Stay tuned for more.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Making Me Believe pt5

During the "Compassion training" step of the journey I had several dreams that highlighted my need for compassion and true discernment. (Read about the Compassion training part of the story here.)

For example. In one dream there was a demonic cat that kept showing up in my house. I kicked the crap out of that cat and kept throwing it out of my house, but then an authority figure came to me and simply rebuked the demonic spirit in the cat. Then the cat was tame, and we kept it as a pet. The lesson was that the problem was not the cat, it was the spirit behind it. I had been focused on the wrong thing.

This happened several times in a couple different dreams, and always the key was that I was not fighting against flesh and blood. I was to have compassion for the people in these situations, even those the enemy was using against me. To wield my sword effectively, I had to be accurate in my knowledge of who the enemy was, and then to separate the enemy from his weapon of choice (another person) not only in my mind, but to rebuke and bring freedom (if I could) to the person involved. 

Perhaps that is a little heady of an idea to wrap your mind around. It was for me too. I like things simple, but God does not make everything so simple. Here is another example/scenario to explain the picture I am trying to paint.

Imagine a child being used as a suicide bomber against you and your neighborhood. You have a weapon. What do you do?

Is the child the enemy? No.

Can that child still blow me and many others to bits? Yes.

The world would say, "kill the one to save the many", but that is not the way of the Kingdom of God. The Lord desires that not even one should perish.

So how do you do it?

In a perfect situation, you would neutralize the child so that he can not harm himself or others while you disassemble the bomb. It is a messy thing, fraught with danger. Then, in keeping with the Lord's ideas, you would welcome that broken child into your home and offer him food from your own table. 

That is the way of the Kingdom.

It was offensive to my mind, even my Christian mind, the first time the Lord began to show me pictures of this truth. I did not have compassion toward the bombers. I was ready to off them for the greater good to the body of Christ. How wrong my heart motives were? I did not have the things of Christ in mind.

So compassion. I must have compassion (for even the pawns) before I can move forward in spiritual authority.

Oh, and some of you may be thinking, "but how unreal is that example. Who, in your easy suburban life could be equal to a suicide bomber in your midst?" Well, perhaps that was a bit strong of a picture, but the enemy uses even my loved ones to stir up strife in my home. He likes to use those closest to us to try and wound us. Heck, he even uses my own emotions against me! The point is not to lash out at the one who is hurting us, or causing the problem, it is to lash out at the one behind the chaos and the pain. Does that make sense?

I certainly do not react the way I wish to all the time. In a pinch I will still strike at the one who is hurting me. When I am in pain, I am not very logical or compassionate. If I have time to pray though, the Lord will give me direction in the fight, and the outcome is always better when I act on the Lord's wisdom, and not my own. I say again, my fight is not against flesh and blood. Now I just need to train myself to always respond with that motto, even when I'm in pain.
I am still on this leg of the journey, to be sure!

Stay tuned for more.